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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xlovelessx

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xlovelessx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 420
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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xlovelessx's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (17964) - you deserved it (1847)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (1489)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (13725) - you deserved it (3692)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (5391)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (26537) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

#7891851 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (20229) - you deserved it (2578)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm - kids - by 102496 - Sent from mobile version

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML

#7782568 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (26834) - you deserved it (6692)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by kaitlynn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425 (667)

I agree, your life sucks (402865) - you deserved it (26902)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)