Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About xlossofmex : My name is Emily and I am 21 years old and currently attend Georgia State University where I am majoring in choral general music education. Music is a huge part of my life. I currently play the piano, flute/piccolo, voice, and I hope to learn violin, cello, french horn, guitar, and harp in my lifetime among others.
I am easy to talk to and go ahead and message me sometime if you want to get to know me. I am social as far as talking goes, but I am not a party person or one to be in big groups. I prefer the company of few.
Lastly, I am a geek. I play video games, listen to star wars and like some animes. I'm also in a world top 300 ranked World of Warcraft guild on Blackrock-US. Although I do love all these things, they do not consume my life and it's not all I talk about, so don't judge me yet. haha.
Kudos to you if you read all this. I actually thought about it.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML
Today, at work, after a visit to the bathroom, the lock broke in my hand and the door was jammed. I called the janitor on my cellphone and told him about the situation. He told me to fill out a complaint and leave it in his post box. He then hung up. FML
Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML
Today, I got out our electric fan because it was very hot. A cockroach crawled up behind the frame on the fan and fell into the gap of the frame. It got itself killed by the rotating fan, and had its blended flesh sent flying all over my white polo shirt. FML
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
Friday 5 February 2016