xkbz510

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Offline (the 08/21/2016 at 12:43am)

xkbz510

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 416
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About xkbz510 : Hey tharrr, my name is Derek haha. I like to read FML's. Always like to find other commenters making funny comments that are related to the FML post. I like to meet new people ^^. Andddd yeahhhh!

xkbz510's page activity

Visits<b>weird_adult</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:59am

xkbz510's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of xkbz510's badges

xkbz510's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML

by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I like asked me to take over her shift at the place we both work at. Being nice, I readily took over. Later, I found out she went on a date with my best friend. He knows I like her. FML

by fezhafeez / 02/23/2016 at 2:26pm / Singapore / Love

Today, on my college visit, I met a perfect girl for me, sweet, gorgeous, on the same career path. I remember everything we talked about, where she is from, what sport she plays, and her recent internship. But when I went to look her up online, I couldn't remember one thing, her name. FML

by Roll Tide of Tears / 01/16/2016 at 10:28pm / United States / Love

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

by kaynotentirelywrong / 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

by The Corner Of Death / 08/12/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

by Well, crap / 06/18/2013 at 11:02am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Love

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

by Weirdo / 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous