Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 2:50am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 2000 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6625
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xivoricbutterfly : Seid ihr das Essen?
Nein, wir sind der Jäger!

I'm Sarah Hello I like to dance around seductively while eating a onions its my mating call. Dont question my weirdness embrass it.
Favorite TV shows: Attack on titans fo life son.Greys anatomy, Super fun night, Drop dead diva, Legend of Korra, Avatar the last air bender. Orange is the new black
Internet fights never win. The Perks of being a Wallflower best movie ever seriously though like Patrick is the shit his boyfriend was a dick. Im a street cred person fool...Ill beat you up unless you got the ice creams seriously ill love you forever. TEEN WOLF TEEN WOLF TEEN WOLF! The Duff was pretty good
Black butler. Best series of all time. Oh Bassy How terrifying (*.*) the third season of Black butler was awesome..Sao is life *Steven Universe*
I got a big bick. You read that wrong. The awkward when you read moment after awkward. Chat me up anytime I dont bite unless you want me to ;). My pretend boyfriend is calling bye.

xivoricbutterfly's page activity

Visits<b>andres1419</b> - yesterday at 3:46am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 7:46am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 2:46am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:34am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:28pm<b>lucasdvb</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 10:23pm<b>twerking_riggs</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:24pm<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Tavers</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:32am<b>Coffeehound</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:27am<b>kaet</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:19am<b>littleteapot</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:18am<b>xXMlg420RektXx</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:02am<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:57pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:34am<b>Mons</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 1:45am<b>Brian2911</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 11:55pm

Fucked!<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 4:28am<b>Coffeehound</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:27am<b>kaet</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:20am<b>bklswagger</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:58am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:17pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:59pm<b>samrompain</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 4:38am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 3:17am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 9:11pm<b>conivore723</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:33pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:15am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:34pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:16pm<b>benlridder</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:45am<b>iampuppy</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:11am<b>MasterTron</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 4:09pm<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:36pm

xivoricbutterfly's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of xivoricbutterfly's badges

xivoricbutterfly's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents I don't really like children and probably won't have any in the future. They sat me down and gave me a lecture on how people who hate kids are heartless. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20182) - you deserved it (3144)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:30pm - kids - by Anonymous - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML


I agree, your life sucks (20977) - you deserved it (1985)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML


I agree, your life sucks (24655) - you deserved it (1598)

On 11/25/2015 at 7:32am - misc - by anthony (man) - Luxembourg

Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19908) - you deserved it (2029)

On 11/24/2015 at 7:56pm - misc - by _Asykes_ (woman) -

Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18373) - you deserved it (4050)

On 11/24/2015 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by WhatALetdown - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we buried my mom. I walked past my sister's husband just in time to hear him mutter: "Hope the fire's nice and hot down there, you old hag." I told my sister. She wouldn't believe me and accused me of trying to start drama. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (2304)

On 11/22/2015 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27896) - you deserved it (3604)

On 11/21/2015 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21661) - you deserved it (2010)

On 11/21/2015 at 5:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23315) - you deserved it (4369)

On 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my crush came into the gas station I work at and said, "Man, you look hot today!" Flattered, I thanked him. He replied, "No, I mean like hot and sweaty, like you've been working hard." FML

Today, my friend and I were having a casual discussion about sex. Blowjobs came up and my friend said she'd never dared to give one, arguing that swallowing sperm can make you pregnant. I then had to go on with a 30 minute argument with her on how that's not possible. She's 26. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (1667)

On 11/19/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LilPie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22016) - you deserved it (1370)

On 11/19/2015 at 12:26pm - misc - by anonynomi - United States (California)

Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (1877)

On 11/19/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by auto boogie man (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (1684)

On 11/19/2015 at 9:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé finally went to a therapy session with me because of the difficult circumstances we are facing. Afterwards, he shouted at me for "talking to someone about our problems". I told him that's kind of the point of therapy. Now he's sulking. FML

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: