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xivoricbutterfly

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xivoricbutterfly
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, Tiny Timmy Tokyo
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 June 1999 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 129
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About xivoricbutterfly : Im Sarah Hello I like to dance around seductively while eating a onions its my mating call. Dont question my weirdness embrass it.
Favorite TV shows: Greys anatomy, Super fun night, Drop dead diva, Legend of Korra, Avatar the last air bender.
Internet fights never win.
Black butler. Best series of all time. Oh Bassy How terrifying (*.*) My Body is ready for the third season of Black butler.
I got a big bick. You read that wrong. The awkward when you read moment after awkward. Chat my up anytime I dont bite unless you want me to ;). My pretend boyfriend is calling bye.

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xivoricbutterfly's favorite FMLs

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56145) - you deserved it (26666)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52514) - you deserved it (4810)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (5435)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45160) - you deserved it (10996)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

#21091718
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35857) - you deserved it (4231)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm - misc - by skrumpp (man) -

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50469) - you deserved it (4030)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34071) - you deserved it (13140)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially "kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML

#21074103
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38273) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/28/2014 at 3:01pm - kids - by HeMayHaveSomeIssues (man) - Denmark

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

#21073990
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32588) - you deserved it (5878)

On 02/28/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by loserr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

#21071750
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35762) - you deserved it (13726)

On 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran into my favorite teacher from high school, the one that really inspired me to become one myself. I told her that I'm in my last year of college preparing to become a teacher, to which she replied, "Wow, they really are letting anyone have a crack at being a teacher these days." FML

#21067542
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40809) - you deserved it (4038)

On 02/21/2014 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML

#21064367
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (39834)

On 02/18/2014 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

#21054564
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (15712)

On 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United States (California)



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