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About xivoricbutterfly : Seid ihr das Essen?
Nein, wir sind der Jäger!
I'm Sarah Hello I like to dance around seductively while eating a onions its my mating call. Dont question my weirdness embrass it.
Favorite TV shows: Attack on titans fo life son.Greys anatomy, Super fun night, Drop dead diva, Legend of Korra, Avatar the last air bender. Orange is the new black
Internet fights never win. The Perks of being a Wallflower best movie ever seriously though like Patrick is the shit his boyfriend was a dick. Im a street cred person fool...Ill beat you up unless you got the ice creams seriously ill love you forever. TEEN WOLF TEEN WOLF TEEN WOLF!
Black butler. Best series of all time. Oh Bassy How terrifying (*.*) the third season of Black butler was awesome..Sao is life
I got a big bick. You read that wrong. The awkward when you read moment after awkward. Chat me up anytime I dont bite unless you want me to ;). My pretend boyfriend is calling bye.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML
Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML
Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, and for the past couple of days, my girlfriend's father has been trying to help me think of a way to propose. I decided to rehearse first, and that's how my girlfriend walked in on me "proposing" to her dad. FML
Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML
Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML
Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML
Friday 22 May 2015