Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xivoricbutterfly

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

xivoricbutterfly

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 June 2000 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1031
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xivoricbutterfly : Im Sarah Hello I like to dance around seductively while eating a onions its my mating call. Dont question my weirdness embrass it.
Favorite TV shows: Greys anatomy, Super fun night, Drop dead diva, Legend of Korra, Avatar the last air bender. Orange is the new black
Internet fights never win. The Perks of being a Wallflower best movie ever seriously though like Patrick is the shit his boyfriend was a dick. Im a street cred person fool...Ill beat you up unless you got the ice creams seriously ill love you forever. TEEN WOLF TEEN WOLF TEEN WOLF!
Black butler. Best series of all time. Oh Bassy How terrifying (*.*) My Body is ready for the third season of Black butler.
I got a big bick. You read that wrong. The awkward when you read moment after awkward. Chat me up anytime I dont bite unless you want me to ;). My pretend boyfriend is calling bye.

xivoricbutterfly's page activity

Visits<b>totallylosing</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:25pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:47am<b>bizrat99</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:42am<b>Chazticr</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:42pm<b>cohnsonj</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:30pm<b>snazman</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:37pm<b>fritzie</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:09pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 6:19am<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:18pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:13am<b>savagelols</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 1:39am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:17pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:59pm<b>mackeyxtravis</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 5:07pm<b>Kereko</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 5:36am<b>lil_miss_simran</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Role448</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:56am

xivoricbutterfly's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of xivoricbutterfly's badges

xivoricbutterfly's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (2298)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39445) - you deserved it (3737)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37142) - you deserved it (3447)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35472) - you deserved it (2354)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

#21259449
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML

#21259221
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29864) - you deserved it (2595)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:04am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

#21258936
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29832) - you deserved it (5765)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by lucas_urev - United States (New York)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31768) - you deserved it (3388)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

#21258796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33036) - you deserved it (3179)

On 09/15/2014 at 1:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I'm precisely one month away from graduating with a degree in translation for the sole purpose of becoming a state-authorised translator. Today, I also discovered that my government has just decided to abandon the concept of authorisation for translators. FML

#21257358
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36828) - you deserved it (2691)

On 09/13/2014 at 7:03am - work - by stupidgov (woman) - Italy

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34989) - you deserved it (2958)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40069) - you deserved it (5248)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
149 comments

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: