Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xcarxcrashx

Search for a member

xcarxcrashx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1868
  • Number of comments : 379
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About xcarxcrashx : You don't actually care.

Wherever you go take a look at your feet; down six feet deep there's dead mans bones, bones BONES BONES BONES BONES!!

xcarxcrashx's page activity

Visits<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 4:59pm<b>ElizaWy</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 9:48am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 10:18am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Zman2017</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:30am<b>cloudygirl5</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:45pm<b>ashcroft97</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:13pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:13pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 3:42am<b>cihanimal</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Haydes</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:01pm<b>stephaniewlntwsk</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:18pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:03pm<b>Since1998</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:18pm<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:12pm<b>mukmuk7</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:39am<b>Harpy</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:41pm

xcarxcrashx's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of xcarxcrashx's badges

xcarxcrashx's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

#19393647
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (2001)

On 04/02/2012 at 4:38am - work - by minimum wage (man) - Canada

Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML

#19306570
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (4002)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:14am - misc - by bitchyhiccups (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

#19269452
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37341) - you deserved it (2041)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Rynne S. - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

#19265043
204 comments

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9852) - you deserved it (31923)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10072) - you deserved it (34687) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France

Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML

#19054898
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14313) - you deserved it (33214)

On 02/12/2012 at 5:36am - misc - by Lameartist -

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

#19039920
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (2884)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:51am - kids - by ilana (woman) - United States

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27427) - you deserved it (8696) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

#19026330
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (2216)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

#18954883
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20180) - you deserved it (3641)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:20pm - work - by robert (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

#18954605
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (9185)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by upupandaway (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally managed to get through to the radio station that I always listen to. I handed the phone to my dad so he could win the prize for me, because I'm under 18. He hung up because he thought it was a prank call. FML

#18774683
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27953) - you deserved it (3962)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Andrew7847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43865) - you deserved it (4480)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: