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xcarlito615x

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xcarlito615x

17Fucked!

xcarlito615xxcarlito615x
  • Town/Country : Flushing, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6254
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About xcarlito615x : "He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes,

started making his way past two in the morning,

He hasn't been sober for days,

leaning now

into the breeze remembering sunday he falls to his knees..."

xcarlito615x's page activity

Visits<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:10pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:48pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:38pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:51pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:53pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:18am<b>LadyDeath18</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:54pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 1:26am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:18pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:46pm<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:26pm<b>PixelKat</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:58pm<b>HeartYou101</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:19pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:41am<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:05pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:55am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:43pm

Fucked!<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:43pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:47am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:44am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:45am<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:17am<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:57pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:25pm<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:16am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:18am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:13am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:15pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:50am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 8:00am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:32am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:07am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:44am<b>tashb</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:30pm

xcarlito615x's FML badges

Santa Claus

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xcarlito615x's favorite FMLs

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26598) - you deserved it (6494)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

#19606194
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7681) - you deserved it (30470)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:33am - misc - by anamota89 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23328) - you deserved it (2249)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

#19602686
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22565) - you deserved it (4984)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15088) - you deserved it (45497)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9827) - you deserved it (60138)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27605) - you deserved it (6392)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42165) - you deserved it (3920)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (4270)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51949) - you deserved it (5653)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

#19472127
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9189) - you deserved it (31967)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:29am - misc - by Salvation711 - United States

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16886) - you deserved it (38070)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (20836)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21165) - you deserved it (50966)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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