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xcarlito615x

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xcarlito615x

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2171
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xcarlito615x : kik:
xxblowmymindxx

xcarlito615x's page activity

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xcarlito615x's badges

xcarlito615x's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29008) - you deserved it (19198)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18254) - you deserved it (47384)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9477) - you deserved it (33224)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13884) - you deserved it (36234)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7566) - you deserved it (31862)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12575) - you deserved it (29571)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

#19339659
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7451) - you deserved it (24462)

On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

#19319000
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30888) - you deserved it (9700)

On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML

#19293533
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33907) - you deserved it (9321)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by noneedtostress - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30842) - you deserved it (4085)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39708) - you deserved it (27412)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26219) - you deserved it (3504)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

#19071963
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (4610)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by makeupsex (woman) - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (6165)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

#19053035
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (7617)

On 02/11/2012 at 11:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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