Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xcarlito615x

Online | Search for a member

xcarlito615x

17Fucked!

xcarlito615xxcarlito615x
  • Town/Country : Flushing, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6275
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About xcarlito615x : "He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes,

started making his way past two in the morning,

He hasn't been sober for days,

leaning now

into the breeze remembering sunday he falls to his knees..."

xcarlito615x's page activity

Visits<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:10pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:48pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:38pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:51pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:53pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:18am<b>LadyDeath18</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:54pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 1:26am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:18pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:46pm<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:26pm<b>PixelKat</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:58pm<b>HeartYou101</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:19pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:41am<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:05pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:55am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:43pm

Fucked!<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:43pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:47am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:44am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:45am<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:17am<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:57pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:25pm<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:16am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:18am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:13am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:15pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:50am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 8:00am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:32am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:07am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:44am<b>tashb</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:30pm

xcarlito615x's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of xcarlito615x's badges

xcarlito615x's favorite FMLs

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

#19826088
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7382) - you deserved it (35661)

On 06/21/2012 at 9:28pm - love - by a stupid jackass (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

#19824188
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30947) - you deserved it (2842)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47316) - you deserved it (4348)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

#19782263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27975) - you deserved it (3430)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (5035)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45569) - you deserved it (4266)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

#19767813
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11850) - you deserved it (29720)

On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

#19763294
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34951) - you deserved it (5289)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15896) - you deserved it (40751)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

#19740850
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (4095)

On 06/05/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by whyme27 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19534) - you deserved it (46162)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52376) - you deserved it (4878)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9669) - you deserved it (51687)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

#19609877
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12765) - you deserved it (62394)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: