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xcarlito615x

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xcarlito615x

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2294
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xcarlito615x : kik:
xxblowmymindxx

xcarlito615x's page activity

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xcarlito615x's badges

xcarlito615x's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8375) - you deserved it (47066)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

#19609877
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11185) - you deserved it (58551)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (6013)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

#19606194
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6403) - you deserved it (27009)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:33am - misc - by anamota89 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19794) - you deserved it (1947)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

#19602686
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19081) - you deserved it (4546)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13141) - you deserved it (41309)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8406) - you deserved it (54746)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (2180)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (5884)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37524) - you deserved it (3531)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26852) - you deserved it (3842)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47214) - you deserved it (5189)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

#19472127
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7849) - you deserved it (28392)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:29am - misc - by Salvation711 - United States

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14493) - you deserved it (34408)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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