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xcarlito615x

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xcarlito615x

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2299
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xcarlito615x : kik:
xxblowmymindxx

xcarlito615x's page activity

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xcarlito615x's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xcarlito615x's badges

xcarlito615x's favorite FMLs

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10572) - you deserved it (34438)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (2523)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23997) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (7364)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

#20018901
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (1747)

On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (5843)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (1386)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

#19994389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7969) - you deserved it (46384)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20126) - you deserved it (2719)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

#19983177
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (3045)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33786) - you deserved it (1586)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36141) - you deserved it (9028)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

#19890134
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21600) - you deserved it (5033)

On 07/04/2012 at 9:48am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

#19871781
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6540) - you deserved it (20693)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by rs (woman) - Egypt



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