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  • Town/Country : Flushing, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5949
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About xcarlito615x : "He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes,

started making his way past two in the morning,

He hasn't been sober for days,

leaning now

into the breeze remembering sunday he falls to his knees..."

xcarlito615x's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:48pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:38pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:51pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 1:53am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:53pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:18am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:33pm<b>LadyDeath18</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:54pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 1:26am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:18pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:46pm<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:26pm<b>PixelKat</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:58pm<b>HeartYou101</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:19pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:41am<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:05pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:55am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:43pm

Fucked!<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:43pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:47am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:44am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:45am<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:17am<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:57pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:25pm<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:16am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:18am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:13am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:15pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:50am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 8:00am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:32am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:07am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:44am<b>tashb</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:30pm

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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xcarlito615x's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51748) - you deserved it (9443)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44785) - you deserved it (6521)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40308) - you deserved it (13024)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53237) - you deserved it (5755)

On 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64782) - you deserved it (23826)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45128) - you deserved it (5234)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49341) - you deserved it (11658)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:48am - love - by fml (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57392) - you deserved it (19365)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58846) - you deserved it (4616)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:11am - health - by mcdonalds - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46317) - you deserved it (6510)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64058) - you deserved it (6311)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63287) - you deserved it (7987)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63480) - you deserved it (6924)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by countryblumpkin (woman) - United States (Michigan)

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