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xcarlito615x

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xcarlito615x

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2484
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xcarlito615x : "We accept the love we think we deserve"
- perks of being a wallflower

"You know what sucks? Realizing everything you believed in was complete and utter bullshit"
- 500 days of summer

I'm a hopeless romantic looking for an interesting conversation lol


kik:
xxblowmymindxx

xcarlito615x's page activity

Visits<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - yesterday at 6:25am<b>munzapoppa</b> - yesterday at 12:49pm<b>This_Chica</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:58am<b>reyelisaia</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:45am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 12:09am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:43pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:26am<b>michouchoubou</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:20am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:23pm<b>masonthemidget</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:14pm<b>alliegatorrrr</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:00pm<b>KatyLarae</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Peacelove0404</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:23pm<b>PhoenixRiver</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:03pm<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:43pm<b>jojomalone55</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:11am<b>TerraShadow</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:47pm<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:51am

Liked!<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:07am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:44am<b>tashb</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:30pm

xcarlito615x's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of xcarlito615x's badges

xcarlito615x's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51384) - you deserved it (5819)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56028) - you deserved it (9003)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

#21024822
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58152) - you deserved it (7904)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57479) - you deserved it (6954)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42965) - you deserved it (17454)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42474) - you deserved it (5588)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43973) - you deserved it (4140)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47726) - you deserved it (8940)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41938) - you deserved it (6158)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37558) - you deserved it (12058)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

#20832277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49821) - you deserved it (5437)

On 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61285) - you deserved it (22330)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

#20830424
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46524) - you deserved it (10845)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:48am - love - by fml (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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