xcarlito615x

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Offline (the 11/08/2016 at 6:33am)

xcarlito615x

19Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Flushing, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8064
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About xcarlito615x : Kik: xxblowmymindxx

xcarlito615x's page activity

Visits<b>missa8604</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 10:42pm<b>lulubelles</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 10:19am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 11:57am<b>yellow33</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 11:28pm<b>captredd</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 4:09am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 10:05pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:13pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:54pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 3:15pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:46am<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:51pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:00pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 8:24am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:41am<b>Kuibe</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 3:01pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:31pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:10pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:38pm

Fucked!<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 5:57pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 11:43pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:43pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:44am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:45am<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:17am<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:57pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:25pm<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:16am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:18am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:13am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:15pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:50am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 8:00am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:32am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:07am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:44am<b>tashb</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:30pm

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xcarlito615x's favorite FMLs

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2015 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2015 at 5:11am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

by anon / 01/19/2015 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML

by GladYoureConcerned / 12/30/2014 at 1:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

by thanks4support / 05/14/2014 at 9:12am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy