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xcarlito615x

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xcarlito615x

17Fucked!

xcarlito615xxcarlito615x
  • Town/Country : Flushing, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6303
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About xcarlito615x : "He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes,

started making his way past two in the morning,

He hasn't been sober for days,

leaning now

into the breeze remembering sunday he falls to his knees..."

xcarlito615x's page activity

Visits<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:10pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:48pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:38pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:51pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:53pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:18am<b>LadyDeath18</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:54pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 1:26am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:18pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:46pm<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:26pm<b>PixelKat</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:58pm<b>HeartYou101</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:19pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:41am<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:05pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:55am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:43pm

Fucked!<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:43pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:47am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:44am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:45am<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:17am<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:57pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:25pm<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:16am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:18am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:13am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:15pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:50am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 8:00am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:32am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:07am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:44am<b>tashb</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:30pm

xcarlito615x's FML badges

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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xcarlito615x's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (13307)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30752) - you deserved it (4374)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

#21419654
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25687) - you deserved it (5213)

On 06/02/2015 at 11:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML

#21410853
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34151) - you deserved it (3448)

On 05/16/2015 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35660) - you deserved it (3144)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34155) - you deserved it (15874)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40447) - you deserved it (6272)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML

#21327166
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (4062)

On 12/30/2014 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by GladYoureConcerned (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45069) - you deserved it (5035)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53376) - you deserved it (14935)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (58195)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47433) - you deserved it (6890)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49106) - you deserved it (11277)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56273) - you deserved it (20309)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48963) - you deserved it (35774)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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