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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11899) - you deserved it (57004)
On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66812) - you deserved it (2436)
On 04/21/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90519) - you deserved it (5320)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30855) - you deserved it (65561)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32960) - you deserved it (114352)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61186) - you deserved it (12810)
On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460018) - you deserved it (571605)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460018) - you deserved it (571605)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83339) - you deserved it (15535)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14232) - you deserved it (50714)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62162) - you deserved it (3410)
On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33890) - you deserved it (3867)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by atterz123 (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18939) - you deserved it (5556)
On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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