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xanniefiend420

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xanniefiend420

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  • Number of visits : 2082
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xanniefiend420's page activity

Visits<b>octopussperm125</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:05pm

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xanniefiend420's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37892) - you deserved it (9628)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

#12573774
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39403) - you deserved it (4368)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ew. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37283) - you deserved it (9669)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

#9150166
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10938) - you deserved it (22012)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (4585)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (6944)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (6944)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

#9129865
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27396) - you deserved it (5020)

On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32878) - you deserved it (2903)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

#9099724
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23951) - you deserved it (2086)

On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML

#9097225
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (6803)

On 03/15/2010 at 4:11am - love - by MrsRockyHorror (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my deranged co-worker sent me a text message containing a picture that she just took of her uncle. It was his funeral. FML

#9083154
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (1625)

On 03/14/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by thanatophobia - Sent from mobile version

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (1984)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

#9068161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7249) - you deserved it (19414)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)



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