Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

xXgUeSsWhAtXx

Search for a member

xXgUeSsWhAtXx
  • Town/Country : guess, where
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 April 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1719
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About xXgUeSsWhAtXx : If you must know:

I'm in the pink =)

I'm 5'1

I listen to most genres of music including Rap, Country, Alternative, Rock, and even some classic

I work with a program that helps mentally challenged persons, usually children

Scary, comedy, and action films

I'm involved in different softball leagues year round.

Any other questions? Feel free to message me =)

xXgUeSsWhAtXx's last visitors

kipfischerexpl0s1vemagicbybwinterforever97nixter5lmc94rabbittboiFreezesimaSjbird1193lilauer13

xXgUeSsWhAtXx's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of xXgUeSsWhAtXx's badges

xXgUeSsWhAtXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8911) - you deserved it (19368)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

#13893197
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20716) - you deserved it (4222)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46385) - you deserved it (1906)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

#13817966
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27174) - you deserved it (5037)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40485) - you deserved it (13601)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (4137)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16471) - you deserved it (46610)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

#13733539
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6170) - you deserved it (21433)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (9961)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

#13684047
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29556) - you deserved it (11062)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

#13678660
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7169) - you deserved it (27279)

On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

#13645205
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33643) - you deserved it (9596)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21213) - you deserved it (2241)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

#13634114
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24050) - you deserved it (5231)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Taylor parsons - United States (Alabama)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: