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xXToxicPenguinXx

Offline (the 04/19/2014 at 7:44pm) | Search for a member

xXToxicPenguinXx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 220
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xXToxicPenguinXx : I'm a Penguin...

xXToxicPenguinXx's page activity

Visits<b>Screamalovesong</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm<b>gabeitup</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 9:56pm<b>PengiPou</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:42pm<b>NomNomNomicur</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:15am<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:31pm<b>TheBoyWhoLived5</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Adamantablade</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:06pm<b>Juiceman105</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:24pm<b>singhiskiing</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 9:38am<b>TREEandMONKEY</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 7:24am<b>pxrceptions</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 6:56am<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 6:44am<b>nairi09</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:09am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:59pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:54pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:51pm<b>smitherzchris</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:26pm

xXToxicPenguinXx's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of xXToxicPenguinXx's badges

xXToxicPenguinXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16468) - you deserved it (1185)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50817) - you deserved it (5891)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (3690)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48731) - you deserved it (13624)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45634) - you deserved it (7638)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

#21167015
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43361) - you deserved it (6210)

On 06/08/2014 at 11:10am - love - by eightleggedtictac - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54404) - you deserved it (8973)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45986) - you deserved it (5111)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML

#21157433
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (4307)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:33pm - misc - by save me (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58782) - you deserved it (4553)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

#21155045
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51094) - you deserved it (4500)

On 05/28/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61546) - you deserved it (5419)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML

#21151109
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45833) - you deserved it (32588)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:50am - love - by HomicidalPegasus (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

#21149418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41088) - you deserved it (4130)

On 05/23/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by idontevencareanymore (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

#21149341
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40536) - you deserved it (4141)

On 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm - kids - by todaddy (man) - United Kingdom



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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