xXToxicPenguinXx

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Offline (the 10/26/2014 at 3:45am)

xXToxicPenguinXx

9Fucked!

xXToxicPenguinXxxXToxicPenguinXx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 May 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2474
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xXToxicPenguinXx : I'm a Penguin...

xXToxicPenguinXx's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 1:51pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 7:00am<b>Cbnotme</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 8:52am<b>madi10647</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 6:31am<b>MiLM</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 5:24am<b>epicx22</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 7:38pm<b>InfestedCarOwner</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 5:00am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 8:47am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:21pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 3:50am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:53am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:55am<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:06pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 2:21am<b>Cherryheart</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 2:14pm<b>CinematicKid</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:59am<b>kellilynn</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:05am<b>youngsparrow</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:41am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 1:00pm<b>epicx22</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:38am<b>tylercarolinex</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:55pm<b>amyyzzxo</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:45pm<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:46pm<b>nela25</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 4:16pm<b>ash_1020</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:29am<b>Raxal</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:13am

xXToxicPenguinXx's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of xXToxicPenguinXx's badges

xXToxicPenguinXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

by anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

by Drafrica / 10/13/2014 at 6:20am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

by wtfguys / 10/13/2014 at 4:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

by Disappointed / 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm / Health

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

by 1039583 / 10/03/2014 at 10:43am / United States (Utah) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

by bri_sci94 / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, marks yet again another day that I've been asked if I'm autistic. No, that's just my Korean accent. Apparently I look "too white" to have one. FML

by notautistic / 09/25/2014 at 9:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

by skollasch / 09/25/2014 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

by nocat6 / 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

by jjhach / 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love