xXKGBxBRIXx

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Offline (the 08/02/2015 at 6:35am)

xXKGBxBRIXx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 742
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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xXKGBxBRIXx's page activity

Visits<b>FabiusSpeck</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:56am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:23am<b>Exhayle</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 8:02pm<b>littlem91</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 6:55pm<b>WiltedRoses</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 2:52pm<b>fredward47</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:41am<b>FracturedMinds</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:21am<b>melinal</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 7:20am<b>FistBlaster9000</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 2:50am<b>1year15days</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:20am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 6:18pm<b>sushi6684</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 10:30pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:35pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 4:27pm<b>tommytisme</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 2:52pm<b>dantheman1999</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 11:37am<b>domking1315</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 10:23am<b>miztigers53</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:20am

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xXKGBxBRIXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

by FaceTime issues / 04/06/2014 at 2:57am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

by testacular / 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

by Dr.Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:56am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

by wabbyfish / 03/13/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

by SpilledWater93 / 03/09/2014 at 11:07pm / Ireland (Wicklow) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

by booksandshadows / 03/04/2014 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

by Cuntface McGee / 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a response to my perfectly straightforward online dating profile: "How about changing a dirty diaper, mommy?" FML

by sadlysingle / 02/21/2014 at 3:04am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a family reunion. I laughed at my uncle's Sylvester Stallone impression. Turns out he had a stroke a while back. FML

by heyadrian / 02/20/2014 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Health