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xXGrellXx's favorite FMLs
Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML
by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML
by Suunflower_14 / 08/26/2013 at 5:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
by pda / 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML
by Sinkhole / 08/24/2013 at 11:27am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Money
Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML
by carobee / 08/24/2013 at 12:25am / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 1:13pm / United States (Hawaii) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 10:29am / United States / Love
Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
by Demotivation / 08/23/2013 at 10:12am / Germany / Miscellaneous
by seriously? / 08/23/2013 at 3:40am / Miscellaneous
by NotInterested / 08/23/2013 at 2:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend asked if she should get birthcontrol, of course I said yes and offered to pay… Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at…