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xXGrellXx's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no / 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML
by aisbash / 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML
by faulty plumbimg! / 08/31/2013 at 8:14am / India / Health
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML
by no life to fuck :/ / 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
by >_< / 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids
by rapunzel3416 / 08/30/2013 at 5:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML
by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
by sorejecteditmakesmewannacry / 08/29/2013 at 6:44am / Love
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 5:38am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML
by marryinghimanyway / 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love