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xXGrellXx's favorite FMLs
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML
by RoommateWanted / 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Animals
Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
by heyhijello / 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML
by jessel_ladd92 / 09/09/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by merpaderp14 / 09/09/2013 at 2:15am / Canada / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work
by vrossie_ / 09/08/2013 at 1:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML
by WritesTooWell / 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by GotMyBitchBack / 09/05/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…