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xXGrellXx's favorite FMLs
Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML
by noreia / 10/06/2013 at 12:11am / Hong Kong / Kids
Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
by blargh / 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Work
by EconM / 10/03/2013 at 11:38am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by meens42 / 09/30/2013 at 4:04am / United States / Kids
Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML
by anahira6 / 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML
by sigh / 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by awkwardology / 09/27/2013 at 3:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by pancakessdsjsn / 09/27/2013 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Work
by alexbrooke / 09/26/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML
by my gran is a cuntwaffle / 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
by horriblefashionsense / 09/26/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my sister told me to mind my own business when I freaked out about the used tampon she keeps… Today, my loneliness hit an all time low when I actually considered "accidentally" texting a random… Today, I was picking up my son's expensive birthday cake. It was huge, and required both hands to…