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xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx

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xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 May 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 945
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx : FMLs make me laugh so i look at them daily usually to laugh at other peoples misery or idiotic moments. Not on here to fight or argue because whether you win or lose an arguement on the internet, you're still a retard. :)

xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx's page activity

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xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx's FML badges

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xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19409) - you deserved it (25852)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68790) - you deserved it (7740)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9749) - you deserved it (33510)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

#12915850
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (4483)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

#12906050
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (8013)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by ow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

#12869426
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11758) - you deserved it (53343)

On 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm - health - by Sickie. (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (63712)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

#12694516
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31260) - you deserved it (20836)

On 08/23/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by diesel444 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45646) - you deserved it (14558)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31634) - you deserved it (16343)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

#12231460
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (3463)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by wtf (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

#12231460
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (3463)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by wtf (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7844) - you deserved it (53965)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

#12209813
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40208) - you deserved it (3096)

On 07/30/2010 at 4:00pm - work - by MLZ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

#12112091
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43005) - you deserved it (4256)

On 07/25/2010 at 10:32pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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