xVictorx

Search for a member

xVictorx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 March 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 817
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

xVictorx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xVictorx's favorite FMLs

Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML

by cricketeer / 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I was going to surprise my boyfriend at his family birthday celebration with a $2,000 trip he's always wanted, Ireland. Right before my gift, he had opened his mother's gift, an envelope containing a plane ticket. Guess where it was going? FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2009 at 4:11am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

by GabsAlot829 / 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

by snotface / 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

by oops1234 / 04/16/2009 at 10:38am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy