Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About xSunnyOlivia : Im assuming you clicked on me because of my picture or my hilarious comment. I might as well tell you about myself. My name is Sunny, and i am 13 years old. Thats about it.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML
Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Friday 24 October 2014