xShannonxSammyx

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xShannonxSammyx

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3225
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xShannonxSammyx : "Whether you come by book or by film, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."

xShannonxSammyx's page activity

Visits<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 7:03pm<b>ryano98</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 1:48pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:19am<b>iMuffinKat</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:19am<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:00pm<b>Ugo318</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:12pm<b>Csoi</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:31pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 7:51pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:26am<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 4:30am<b>aye146</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:22am<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:27pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:59pm<b>combatsurf</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 10:34am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:57am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Halpak</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 3:08pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:58am

Fucked!<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:34am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:50pm<b>Haley_Renee</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:39pm

xShannonxSammyx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of xShannonxSammyx's badges

xShannonxSammyx's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

by LuvShawn / 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

by JLoistheBomb / 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

by chicochico / 12/19/2008 at 11:05am / Intimacy