Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xShannonxSammyx

Search for a member

xShannonxSammyx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2326
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xShannonxSammyx : "Whether you come by book or by film, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."

xShannonxSammyx's page activity

Visits<b>addictedtoIASIP</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:18pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:19am<b>arubio104</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:00pm<b>rpherrs</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 12:48pm<b>kingodsucksville</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:05pm<b>elvis103</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:31pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:58am<b>hk1998</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:20pm<b>LeMoan</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 11:18pm<b>zin11</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 2:18pm<b>hamee</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 12:07am<b>Leodak</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 11:39pm<b>amberv61</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 3:06pm<b>thiefofhope</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 6:34pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 3:41pm<b>kayla51398</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 6:15pm<b>amc597</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:25am<b>rebeleous</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:41am

xShannonxSammyx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of xShannonxSammyx's badges

xShannonxSammyx's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20838) - you deserved it (218903)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (351158) - you deserved it (17804)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (260021) - you deserved it (17203)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38419) - you deserved it (129039)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
923 comments

I agree, your life sucks (344508) - you deserved it (38484)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240080) - you deserved it (31637)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53699) - you deserved it (310847)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (231717) - you deserved it (30920)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (60911)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (251526) - you deserved it (59736)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10877) - you deserved it (68306)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (277591) - you deserved it (51761)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: