Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xShannonxSammyx

Search for a member

xShannonxSammyx

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2872
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xShannonxSammyx : "Whether you come by book or by film, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."

xShannonxSammyx's page activity

Visits<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:58am<b>klawzor</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 12:15am<b>pavingboy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 7:11am<b>Spdt5561</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 1:20am<b>JackHuason</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:56pm<b>OrangeJews</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:51am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:10pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Roxy4102</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:19am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 3:36pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 10:09pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:22pm<b>turtkko</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:31pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:05am<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:50pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:58pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:09pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 8:13pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:50pm<b>Haley_Renee</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:39pm

xShannonxSammyx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of xShannonxSammyx's badges

xShannonxSammyx's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35766) - you deserved it (5064)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46437) - you deserved it (4995)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46437) - you deserved it (4995)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31434) - you deserved it (3121)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27765) - you deserved it (3711)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33433) - you deserved it (8487)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

#8865322
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29546) - you deserved it (7963)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:31am - intimacy - by ICantBelieveThis - United States (New York)

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

#8248979
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23725) - you deserved it (6059)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by freakingow (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

#7228897
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10942) - you deserved it (41310)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39778) - you deserved it (2977)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

#6926336
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34641) - you deserved it (3051)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States

Today, my friend accidentally left her facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

#6506923
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41819) - you deserved it (8190)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

#6265559
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33151) - you deserved it (4760)

On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13197) - you deserved it (46922)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: