About xShannonxSammyx : "Whether you come by book or by film, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."
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xShannonxSammyx's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
by ashleyrae / 06/29/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by rileycrash / 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 9:17am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy
by cnamobi / 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm / United States / Animals
by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous
by me / 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…
- Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy… Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year.… Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do…