xShannonxSammyx

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xShannonxSammyx

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3434
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xShannonxSammyx : "Whether you come by book or by film, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."

xShannonxSammyx's page activity

Visits<b>Ginger_Love</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 12:41am<b>seba7236</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 7:59am<b>monk191</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 7:01pm<b>ROFLAtYourPain</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 11:28pm<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 7:03pm<b>ryano98</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 1:48pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:19am<b>iMuffinKat</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:19am<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:00pm<b>Ugo318</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:12pm<b>Csoi</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:31pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 7:51pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:26am<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 4:30am<b>aye146</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:22am<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:27pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:59pm<b>combatsurf</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 10:34am

Fucked!<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:34am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:50pm<b>Haley_Renee</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:39pm

xShannonxSammyx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of xShannonxSammyx's badges

xShannonxSammyx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

by charlie3289 / 10/27/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

by Nixontones / 10/14/2011 at 11:09am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

by Jesus / 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

by ohgodwhy / 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

by funnymanjoe / 09/14/2011 at 7:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

by omfgnooo / 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

by MJjunior / 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids