About xShannonxSammyx : "Whether you come by book or by film, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."
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xShannonxSammyx's favorite FMLs
by Kevin / 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
by fmT719 / 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
by MikeNick / 12/17/2011 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Yeoman / 11/19/2011 at 2:47am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love
Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML
by Username / 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
by kdeeeceee / 11/05/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…