Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xSLEEPYxHEADx

Offline (the 08/25/2015 at 12:14pm) | Search for a member

xSLEEPYxHEADx

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1072
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xSLEEPYxHEADx's page activity

Visits<b>NurseNasty</b> - 8 hours ago<b>mybabymaduece</b> - yesterday at 11:21pm<b>RedX1000FML</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:31am<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:54am<b>satt8404</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:10am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:53am<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:21pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:21pm<b>last_kings84</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:18am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:21pm<b>xygen</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:40am<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:17am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:53pm<b>drbakhonlock</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:47am<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:02am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:08am<b>JINXnocturnal</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:55pm<b>LolxMe</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 12:44am

Fucked!<b>happy2468</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 6:50am<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:20am<b>shjoh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:17pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:15am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 2:25am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:40pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 11:04am

xSLEEPYxHEADx's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of xSLEEPYxHEADx's badges

xSLEEPYxHEADx's favorite FMLs

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

#21459605
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19505) - you deserved it (5205)

On 08/23/2015 at 8:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was so drunk that I forgot how to use the key to my front door. But I knew how to break a window, get into my locked basement, and unlock the basement door with my front door's key. FML

#21374433
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (15322)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:52pm - misc - by nomorealcoholeva - Norway (Nordland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

#21338246
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (8913)

On 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm - misc - by phones - United States

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

#21335978
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26019) - you deserved it (1836)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I tried to get off the bus, my bag and the hand holding it got stuck between the exit doors. I dropped the bag in panic, but the driver wouldn't let me off until we got to the next stop. I had to walk all the way back to get my bag. FML

#21335674
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28580) - you deserved it (2695)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Italy (Veneto)

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34516) - you deserved it (5148)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

#21323929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31229) - you deserved it (2370)

On 12/25/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by BowTiesAr3Cool - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

#21322620
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36216) - you deserved it (3171)

On 12/23/2014 at 10:24am - love - by got any coupons? - United States

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

#21316114
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14979) - you deserved it (37812)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:39am - misc - by well, now what - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

#21310760
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27609) - you deserved it (19433)

On 12/03/2014 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (6167)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32927) - you deserved it (4513)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML

#21299572
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25771) - you deserved it (3803)

On 11/15/2014 at 1:20pm - work - by ChimerV (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48621) - you deserved it (7939)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15416) - you deserved it (24053)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: