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xSLEEPYxHEADx

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xSLEEPYxHEADx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 October 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 112
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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xSLEEPYxHEADx's page activity

Visits<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - 17 hours ago<b>ball_so_hard</b> - 20 hours ago<b>swharley</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:10am<b>kingofthediamond</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:42am<b>robertd73</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:39am<b>TCRII</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:23am<b>fiesta_balls</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:03pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Adam5858</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:19pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:38am<b>Unkreative</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:33pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:12pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:57pm<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:02pm<b>petrolhead</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:01am<b>almostchris</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:56pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:32pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:34pm

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xSLEEPYxHEADx's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32648) - you deserved it (3298)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (8240)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

#21248283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38198) - you deserved it (4010)

On 08/30/2014 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (8556)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34220) - you deserved it (2580)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42469) - you deserved it (16069)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24115) - you deserved it (44174)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

#21240784
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36550) - you deserved it (7663)

On 08/19/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by morgie96 - United States (Florida)

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (8819)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20113) - you deserved it (49012)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48479) - you deserved it (19168)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44148) - you deserved it (6866)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (22472)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43295) - you deserved it (7914)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

#21203602
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37580) - you deserved it (17591)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:38am - kids - by whoops - Canada (Ontario)



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