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Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (484847)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (352580) - you deserved it (66560)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (352580) - you deserved it (66560)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53405) - you deserved it (8610)
On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (382368)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (988205) - you deserved it (78609)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7426) - you deserved it (44420)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by mylifeisamovie - United States (New York)
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17253) - you deserved it (50610)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (31715)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:13am - work - by Kasizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was presenting a powerpoint. As I plugged in the cord that connected my computer to the projector, I had forgotten what my boyfriend had set my desktop picture to the night before. I opened my laptop and projected on the wall was me nude. I go to Catholic school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18104) - you deserved it (47815)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by :D (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16639) - you deserved it (43683)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177570) - you deserved it (61395)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (2306)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by herpderp (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (483160) - you deserved it (43383)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21090) - you deserved it (4736)
On 02/07/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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