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xMeganMayhem's favorite FMLs
by Embarassed / 09/10/2009 at 1:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2009 at 3:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by NoseInPain / 08/20/2009 at 10:17am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML
by maidmyday / 08/12/2009 at 10:25am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 3:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
by jeeperspeepers / 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
by vomitingnow / 07/22/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML
by whitewater_al / 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
by Liz / 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I was in the grocery store getting bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said, "Hey beautiful" so I smiled. He then asked if I was free on Friday night. I smiled and said, "Yes, why do you ask?" He looked up from the bananas and pointed to the bluetooth in his ear. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
by BarbieKen / 06/14/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by superman_not / 06/10/2009 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…