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2day I met mah boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents . I had to listen to them while they calld me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compard to nice, pretty, Korean girls . They don't know I speak Korean .
I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital an having numerous tests performed , I was told mah intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I went to Ikea with mah family. I was wereing a yellow polo that vaguely lookd like the ones the Ikea employee were wereing. Two dozen people cummd up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML
Today, I was on an arplana that was axpariancing soma turbulanca. Faaling anxious, I raachad ovar an grabbad my husband's hand 4 comfort. Ha than said, "Why r u scarad of dying? You'ra not avan pratty." FML
Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML
2day I noticed that the walls of apartment are ridiculously thin.. . when I heard neighbor slowly walk up the stars.. . slam the bathroom door.. . lift the toilet cover.. . take a pee and end with a nice ( AAHH . ) FML
Today, I Walked In On Ma Boyfriend Saying, ( I Sall Be Te Prince, An You Sall Be Te Princess, ) To Is Amster. Once E Saw Me, E Quickly Turned To Te Amster An Said, ( I Ave To Go. Te Dragon Is Ere. ) FML
Today, I startd to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I looool accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guesshat?! I just came." FML
Friday 27 March 2015