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xMeganMayhem's favorite FMLs
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
by Danielle / 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML
by JefferyT / 06/03/2011 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm / Brazil / Geek
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
by Thatslife / 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Intimacy
Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
by notsosmart / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
by effingdoucher / 01/30/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by BiteMe14 / 01/07/2011 at 2:10pm / United States / Love
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:03am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back,… Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready.…