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xMeganMayhem's favorite FMLs
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
by Danielle / 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML
by JefferyT / 06/03/2011 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm / Brazil / Geek
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
by Thatslife / 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Intimacy
Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
by notsosmart / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
by effingdoucher / 01/30/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by BiteMe14 / 01/07/2011 at 2:10pm / United States / Love
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:03am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart.… Today, it was me and my husband's anniversary. He was at work, so I decided to dress up "sexy". You… Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it…