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Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17035) - you deserved it (2997)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3336) - you deserved it (14337) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (1055)
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6580) - you deserved it (2597)
On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2118) - you deserved it (5694)
On 03/29/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by greeneyedpothead - United States (California)
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1500) - you deserved it (5811)
Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17437) - you deserved it (9566)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2236) - you deserved it (13010)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10512) - you deserved it (574)
On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (10899)
On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26390) - you deserved it (2708)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18827) - you deserved it (3402)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10039) - you deserved it (2353)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mom died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12906) - you deserved it (31978) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5310) - you deserved it (8472)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
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