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xLovey
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5028
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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xLovey's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14667) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11088) - you deserved it (22614)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML

#8026904
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (3079)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22870) - you deserved it (4995)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, there was a new and extremely attractive girl at youth group, so I decided to introduce myself. Her reply was, "Wow, I've always wanted to meet a gay guy!" FML

#7937064
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28499) - you deserved it (3719)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:39pm - love - by Richard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

#7868479
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25135) - you deserved it (1953)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (5273)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18830) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

#7668183
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (9098)

On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7592) - you deserved it (35691)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15586) - you deserved it (39855)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15586) - you deserved it (39855)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (2645)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47053) - you deserved it (3731)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32223) - you deserved it (6962)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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