xKeroseneHearts

Search for a member

xKeroseneHearts

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 534
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xKeroseneHearts : Bands ruined my life. I love pop punk, post-hardcore, rock, and metal. Pierce the Veil, All Time Low, My Chemical Romance (R.I.P.), Suicide Silence (R.I.P. Mitch), Black Veil Brides, Sleeping With Sirens, Asking Alexandria, Motionless In White, Blood on the Dance Floor, Miss May I, Of Mice & Men, Bring Me The Horizon, Man Overboard.

xKeroseneHearts's page activity

Visits<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 1:47am<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 4:51pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 9:55pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:56am<b>FieldLeftBlank</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 7:05pm<b>dogshorsescats</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:55am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:55am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 8:23pm<b>sb4331</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:04pm<b>mcrptv</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 10:57pm<b>cadillacgal79</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:07pm<b>wellfme</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:49am<b>lijen</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:51pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 12:21pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:18am

Fucked!<b>mcrptv</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:36am

xKeroseneHearts's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of xKeroseneHearts's badges

xKeroseneHearts's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

by bestiality, not even once / 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

by kalleylynn / 06/08/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

by goingtobeevicted / 04/25/2013 at 2:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Work

Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML

by BornInTheWrongEra / 03/31/2013 at 2:24am / United States / Miscellaneous