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xKeroseneHearts

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xKeroseneHearts
  • Town/Country : Salt Lake City, Utah, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 February 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 86
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xKeroseneHearts : I love music like Black Veil Brides, Blood on the Dance Floor, blessthefall, Asking Alexandria, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, and Falling In Reverse. C: If you want to know more about me just ask. :*

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xKeroseneHearts's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of xKeroseneHearts's badges

xKeroseneHearts's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44793) - you deserved it (7491)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44100) - you deserved it (6068)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57674) - you deserved it (8159)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38257) - you deserved it (2432)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

#20624531
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16573) - you deserved it (65401)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

#20620173
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25977) - you deserved it (37688)

On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44825) - you deserved it (7228)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (94510)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (2274)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML

#20567871
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45960) - you deserved it (3284)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
620 comments

I agree, your life sucks (550530) - you deserved it (35366)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (277526) - you deserved it (21818)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (178146) - you deserved it (61488)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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Monday 20 May 2013

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