About xKav : I'm Kim. I like butts.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
xKav's favorite FMLs
by idk ask freud / 07/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML
by prdp / 06/05/2013 at 12:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Time for a haircut / 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work
by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
by iscreamforicecream / 06/01/2011 at 7:53am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…