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I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting fir her result . Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
Today , I accidentally hit a cyclist with car. In panic , I jumped out of car and ran up to him , who was lying on the floor , motionless. As I was about to check his pulse , he jumped up and shouted , ( I bet you thought I was dead , asshole! ) He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, the regional manager of mah company cummed out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that mah palms were sweaty, andhen he reached out to shake mah hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, u made me wet." FML
yesterday mah future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop cuz it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny an "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
Today, I found out that classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangementhere people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis . A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn . fat FML
Today , a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said , ( Oh so u DO know where it is! ) and walked away , roaring with laughter. FML
Friday 27 March 2015