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xJAGx1505x

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xJAGx1505x
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 January 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 63
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xJAGx1505x : Only on the app so so if you try to message me sorry

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xJAGx1505x's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16307) - you deserved it (16882)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (5768)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40149) - you deserved it (2607)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41035) - you deserved it (5589)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (5020)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (2837)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a bill for damage to my old apartment. The same damage caused by the maintenance guy when he came to fix the pipes about a week before I left. FML

#15464709
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (1767)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by Renter - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74953) - you deserved it (10598)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11696) - you deserved it (33847)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37218) - you deserved it (11451)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML

#2834674
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17252) - you deserved it (62207)

On 06/12/2009 at 4:45pm - money - by beatenbyabum (man) - United States (Georgia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



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