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xJAGx1505x

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xJAGx1505x

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 401
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About xJAGx1505x : Message me anytime if you want

xJAGx1505x's page activity

Visits<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:04pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:00pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:20am<b>rabid_monkeys</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:20pm<b>az1992</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:23pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:01pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:00am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:32pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:37am<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 2:12pm<b>luffy5677</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:01am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 3:11am<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:05pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:11pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:36am<b>bellladonna</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:12am<b>Mr_Brightside209</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:24am

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xJAGx1505x's favorite FMLs

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35560) - you deserved it (9811)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (6105)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47390) - you deserved it (7216)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35620) - you deserved it (8371)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49455) - you deserved it (10667)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58267) - you deserved it (9153)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60520) - you deserved it (20224)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55038) - you deserved it (4421) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

#20434472
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37770) - you deserved it (3568)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29040) - you deserved it (6117)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47211) - you deserved it (5999)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16344) - you deserved it (26891)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

#20154873
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (1861)

On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21624) - you deserved it (2527)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)



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