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xHolliex

Offline (the 10/22/2015 at 5:58am) | Search for a member

xHolliex

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 February 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 174
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About xHolliex : Hi I'm Hollie (:

xHolliex's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:24pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:51pm

Fucked!<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 6:52pm

xHolliex's FML badges

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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xHolliex's favorite FMLs

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

#21421289
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (2467)

On 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54533) - you deserved it (6751)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

#21126821
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37995) - you deserved it (4935)

On 04/30/2014 at 12:20am - work - by KO - United States

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55292) - you deserved it (4821)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52719) - you deserved it (4286)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53130) - you deserved it (3461)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41823) - you deserved it (2994)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46006) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68983) - you deserved it (8743)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
115 comments

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51813) - you deserved it (5278)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63727) - you deserved it (5876)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49934) - you deserved it (6582)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60048) - you deserved it (16814)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)



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