About xGreyRosex : Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.
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xGreyRosex's favorite FMLs
by emmaavk88 / 03/17/2014 at 8:15am / United Arab Emirates / Animals
Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML
by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/14/2014 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML
by hbbbs / 03/01/2014 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML
by SarahNB / 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Utah) / Money
by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids
Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML
by ThatGuyWithFMLs / 02/25/2014 at 4:31am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous
by Author / 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Good choice cat / 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 10:21am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML
by crap / 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML
by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…