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xFMILYFEx

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xFMILYFEx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 May 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3415
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xFMILYFEx's favorite FMLs

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27335) - you deserved it (3008)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35639) - you deserved it (3530)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27317) - you deserved it (2525)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

#17379792
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29498) - you deserved it (2488)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm - health - by laurlaur - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48173) - you deserved it (2394)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40362) - you deserved it (3246)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54294) - you deserved it (2663)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13885) - you deserved it (56942)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML

#17350517
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (2635)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:45am - money - by bigbill - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53318) - you deserved it (3277)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (2903)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51236) - you deserved it (9845)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (13241)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (4226)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (7261)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)



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