xFMILYFEx

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xFMILYFEx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5895
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xFMILYFEx's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:31pm

xFMILYFEx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xFMILYFEx's favorite FMLs

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

by CooBerry3851 / 08/28/2011 at 4:27am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 2:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I realized my soon to be ex wife is stalking me online. Everytime I block her she creates a new profile. She left me 9 months ago. FML

by bubbashrek / 08/28/2011 at 12:06am / United States / Love

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

by Alexis / 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

by EpicMayonnaise / 08/26/2011 at 3:35am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my mother-in-law is house hunting in my town. There is a house for sale 2 doors down from me. In her price range. FML

by momma6126 / 08/25/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

by josie345 / 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-wife crashed my engagement party. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2011 at 4:12am / United States / Love

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2011 at 4:03am / United States / Money

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

by Kendal / 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

by wags34 / 08/22/2011 at 10:57am / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

by heheheh / 08/22/2011 at 2:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML

by vishuzzbabe77 / 08/22/2011 at 2:04am / United States / Animals