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xDovahkiin

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xDovahkiin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 164
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xDovahkiin : Straightedge. Future FBI. Kitty Forman-esque. Gamer. Nerd. Volunteer. Big heart. Open mind. Skeptical romantic. Dreamer. Into that Wicca juju. Negativity is rejected.

xDovahkiin's page activity

Visits<b>rfid</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 9:39pm<b>GweedSincE84</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:10am<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:48pm<b>ErwinsWife</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 1:26pm<b>GGregoire</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 3:41pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 1:47pm<b>AVGIII</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 7:56pm<b>jskains</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 5:30pm<b>AliSama</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 1:39pm<b>dfens</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 9:30am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 8:55am<b>swharley</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 8:14am<b>Adm_Twigs</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 8:05am<b>max9y</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 6:26pm<b>MarRic31</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 11:28am<b>T_baggins</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:44pm<b>matt1138</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 4:48pm<b>ilovecuddling</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 4:47pm

xDovahkiin's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

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See all of xDovahkiin's badges

xDovahkiin's favorite FMLs

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46174) - you deserved it (4962)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51182) - you deserved it (5315)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

#20833570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52138) - you deserved it (3951)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48003) - you deserved it (23088)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54803) - you deserved it (6341)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48801) - you deserved it (8108)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (4807)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79458) - you deserved it (7234)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58677) - you deserved it (3819)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49255) - you deserved it (6458)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47771) - you deserved it (3812) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

#20719679
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42981) - you deserved it (5139)

On 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60016) - you deserved it (11876)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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