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xDochx

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xDochx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 October 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3358
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xDochx : I'm that sexy beast in the photo- a bucket of nutella. I tend to lurk in the comments, usually they're better than the fml. If I've looked at your profile multiple times, sorry, not trying to creep. I just forgot and some of the pictures are funny.....Or you said something that revealed your incredible stupidity and made me.curious as to why you are cripplingly ignorant Don't I sound lovely? :D Cats are soft. Du bist fettleibig und ich will fließend auf Deutsch sein. Leider bin ich noch nicht aber das wird bald verändern!

xDochx's page activity

Visits<b>Mc2013</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 6:33pm<b>gabbehtm</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:29pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:05pm<b>mixinitup</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:55pm<b>ez24_</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:26pm<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:26pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:36am<b>ladyLALAA</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 7:53am<b>chelsealou1997</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:07pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:51am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:34am<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:45pm<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:37am<b>geekchick88</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:26am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:24am<b>Peck_Kcep</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:31pm

xDochx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of xDochx's badges

xDochx's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

#21035049
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (5459)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:55pm - work - by ugh (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59557) - you deserved it (25828)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39993) - you deserved it (3361)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47725) - you deserved it (4833)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44368) - you deserved it (5328)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48921) - you deserved it (6446)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50155) - you deserved it (6940)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39522) - you deserved it (4434)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44158) - you deserved it (4719)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39789) - you deserved it (3137)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47942) - you deserved it (3053)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53111) - you deserved it (2933)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)



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