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xDochx

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xDochx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 October 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1689
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xDochx : I'm that sexy beast in the photo- a bucket of nutella. I tend to lurk in the comments, usually they're better than the fml. If I've looked at your profile multiple times, sorry, not trying to creep. I just forgot and some of the pictures are funny.....Or you said something that revealed your incredible stupidity and made me.curious as to why you are cripplingly ignorant Don't I sound lovely? :D Cats are soft. Du bist fettleibig und ich will fließend auf Deutsch sein. Leider bin ich noch nicht aber das wird bald verändern!

xDochx's page activity

Visits<b>sonshadsil94</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Wizardo</b> - yesterday at 9:10am<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:40am<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:17am<b>gamergirl8525</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:30pm<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:47pm<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:36pm<b>hokie16</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:51am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:41pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:06pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:46pm<b>JoshuahColins</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:58pm<b>cjrust</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 6:00pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:38pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:21am<b>olpally</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:23am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:44am

xDochx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of xDochx's badges

xDochx's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (3851)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29852) - you deserved it (45523)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (36535)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41210) - you deserved it (21430)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44451) - you deserved it (3361)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38847) - you deserved it (7490)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38088) - you deserved it (7530)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

#21048030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35112) - you deserved it (6970)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39546) - you deserved it (6110)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40689) - you deserved it (10193)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40916) - you deserved it (12330)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

#21035049
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36210) - you deserved it (5003)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:55pm - work - by ugh (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58090) - you deserved it (25119)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML



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