About xDochx : I'm that sexy beast in the photo- a bucket of nutella. I tend to lurk in the comments, usually they're better than the fml. If I've looked at your profile multiple times, sorry, not trying to creep. I just forgot and some of the pictures are funny.....Or you said something that revealed your incredible stupidity and made me.curious as to why you are cripplingly ignorant Don't I sound lovely? :D Cats are soft. Du bist fettleibig und ich will fließend auf Deutsch sein. Leider bin ich noch nicht aber das wird bald verändern!
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
xDochx's favorite FMLs
by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work
by Goblin Girl / 08/01/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML
by anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 9:26am / Lebanon / Transportation
Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML
by xd3box / 07/25/2012 at 12:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML
by Taylor / 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy
Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML
by fucking pissants / 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML
by yeastly / 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by JJBones / 06/29/2012 at 6:03am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by MonCoiffeurAdoré / 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm / Miscellaneous
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/19/2012 at 6:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…