Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xDochx

Search for a member

xDochx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 October 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4564
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xDochx : I'm that sexy beast in the photo- a bucket of nutella. I tend to lurk in the comments, usually they're better than the fml. If I've looked at your profile multiple times, sorry, not trying to creep. I just forgot and some of the pictures are funny.....Or you said something that revealed your incredible stupidity and made me.curious as to why you are cripplingly ignorant Don't I sound lovely? :D Cats are soft. Du bist fettleibig und ich will fließend auf Deutsch sein. Leider bin ich noch nicht aber das wird bald verändern!

xDochx's page activity

Visits<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:15pm<b>Mightyrif</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 9:33pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Mc2013</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 6:33pm<b>gabbehtm</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:29pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:05pm<b>mixinitup</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:55pm<b>ez24_</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:26pm<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:26pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:36am<b>ladyLALAA</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 7:53am<b>chelsealou1997</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:07pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:51am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:34am<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:45pm<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:37am

xDochx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of xDochx's badges

xDochx's favorite FMLs

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (3147)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

#19995807
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20582) - you deserved it (1802)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML

#19988832
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6057) - you deserved it (36366)

On 07/28/2012 at 9:26am - misc - by anonymous - Lebanon

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23492) - you deserved it (3117)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38666) - you deserved it (4605)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (2387)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML

#19915209
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9637) - you deserved it (28777)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by yeastly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62697) - you deserved it (5050)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

#19874038
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17135) - you deserved it (4684)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:30am - animals - by emi -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

#19865119
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (4235)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML

#19858220
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30887) - you deserved it (1845) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by MonCoiffeurAdoré -

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

#19812201
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (2329)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: