Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xDochx

Search for a member

xDochx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 October 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3023
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xDochx : I'm that sexy beast in the photo- a bucket of nutella. I tend to lurk in the comments, usually they're better than the fml. If I've looked at your profile multiple times, sorry, not trying to creep. I just forgot and some of the pictures are funny.....Or you said something that revealed your incredible stupidity and made me.curious as to why you are cripplingly ignorant Don't I sound lovely? :D Cats are soft. Du bist fettleibig und ich will fließend auf Deutsch sein. Leider bin ich noch nicht aber das wird bald verändern!

xDochx's page activity

Visits<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:05pm<b>gabbehtm</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:12am<b>mixinitup</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:55pm<b>ez24_</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:26pm<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:26pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:36am<b>ladyLALAA</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 7:53am<b>chelsealou1997</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:07pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:51am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:34am<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:45pm<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:37am<b>geekchick88</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:26am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:24am<b>Peck_Kcep</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:31pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:35pm

xDochx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of xDochx's badges

xDochx's favorite FMLs

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35657) - you deserved it (10023)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML

#21175131
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44780) - you deserved it (6206)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:31am - love - by mydatinglifesucks - United States

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51263) - you deserved it (11165)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42669) - you deserved it (6213)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

#21164174
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21176) - you deserved it (37902)

On 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm - misc - by charitableidiot (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

#21161933
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34912) - you deserved it (5132)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40622) - you deserved it (6526)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45889) - you deserved it (5302)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47442) - you deserved it (7218)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boyfriend found a movie he loved on Netflix. He was so excited to show it to me and was certain I'd love it. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of White Chicks. FML

#21148492
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35722) - you deserved it (9218)

On 05/22/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38907) - you deserved it (9268)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (52397)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43178) - you deserved it (8261)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

#21128889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41043) - you deserved it (3988)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: