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About xDefendPopPunkx : Senior, I run Cross Country and Track, I love my friends, I'll defend pop punk till the day I die, that's all.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25700) - you deserved it (4618)
On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29398) - you deserved it (2444)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - intimacy - by BlootheBawss - United States (Florida)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (3847)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15220) - you deserved it (1316)
On 08/22/2011 at 7:04am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7609) - you deserved it (22948)
On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30179) - you deserved it (1880)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (1911)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26077) - you deserved it (4732)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5095) - you deserved it (45962)
On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22446) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)
I agree, your life sucks (10427) - you deserved it (1344)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37037) - you deserved it (3401)
On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8986) - you deserved it (35244)
On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (6874)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49978) - you deserved it (5234)
On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States
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